I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a similar story.

“I lost my job… my doctor gave me anti-depressants.”

“My husband (wife) left me… my doctor gave me anti-depressants.”

“My child’s been sick… my doctor gave me something to lift my mood.”

We live in a society which has the “microwave” mentality. Everything should be fixed quickly… and there shouldn’t be any pain.

Things happen in life that are difficult. People get fired. Some become ill. Relationships end. People die early, tragically or when elderly.

Each one of these losses results in a painful emotional reaction. You have emotions that are so intense they seem to explode out of you. Common reactions are tears, screaming, pounding on the walls, eating too much, not eating at all, sleeping most of the day, not being able to sleep at all.

All of these reactions are common expressions of the deep pain and emotion within. You have to have a way to release the well of emotion within you.

Each loss begins what is known as the grief cycle. The greater the loss the more intense the grief response.

In this “microwave” society of ours, people fear most intense feelings. Laughter is fine. Screaming and yelling at a sports event is acceptable. Crying and feeling depressed for more than a few months because you lost someone of something close to you becomes uncomfortable for those around you.

When the wound is great – the loss of a partner, child, best friend, sibling, parent, even beloved pet – the more intense the emotional pain. It does not go away in a few weeks or even a few months.

When medication, prescription or self-medication through “recreational drugs” and alcohol is used, the painful feelings within have no release. They become buried deep inside sitting there, festering.

It takes a great deal of energy to keep from expressing and releasing the inner pain. Soon you hold in all feelings. Joy is muted. Happiness is overshadowed by unexpressed buried pain.

It’s as if you shoved the garbage in the closet and slammed the door tight. Eventually the smell of the forgotten and hidden rot seeps throughout the house permeating everything.

The “cure” for such loss is to express your feelings. Journal about them. Draw pictures representing what you feel inside. Write letters to loved ones who have left. Cry. Scream.

You have to address whatever is the issue, work it out and then release it. Whatever has happened changes your life. Until you adjust you hurt.

Yes, there are times medication can be helpful. Most of the time, however, they delay the healing process. They only mask the symptoms.